How to Learn a Language on Your Own (Part 2)

Welcome back to this short and sweet 2 Part series where I discuss how to learn foreign languages. I recommend reading Part 1 first, but as a quick summary, input and continuous exposure is key. Having already delved into how languages are acquired, I’m now going to turn that information into some practical advice on how to learn a language on your own! 

As always, these posts are based on my own experiences with language learning, particularly as someone whose goal is to achieve fluency. This guide just goes over the basics and is not meant to be comprehensive.

Step 1. Familiarisation

Familiarisation is a key step that people tend to overlook. Although we’re tempted to throw ourselves into learning “hello, how are you”, that information won’t be easily retained if we haven’t taken time to soak in the language first. 

At this stage, our goal isn’t to learn even a single word; we’re just getting our brains used to the melody, sound and look of the new language so that when we do start learning it, it won’t feel as foreign to us and will be easier to decipher later on.

Start by spending 10 minutes with the language every day. You can choose any material you like, whether it’s a movie, a podcast, a book, or something else. Appreciate the new sounds, what the words look like, or simply use it as background noise while doing other tasks.

If you think you’d recognise the language if you heard it out in the wild, you’re ready for the next step! 

Note: For languages with different writing systems (Japanese, Greek), I’d suggest learning the basics of that as soon as possible. I may go into more detail about how to do this in a future post, but some ideas would be flashcards and practice sheets. It’s mostly just a matter of memorisation and practice.

Step 2. Listening

Now we’re going to differentiate between two types of listening:

Passive listening: listening to something while doing something else, or reading something without worrying about understanding it. (This is what you were doing in the familiarisation phase.)

Active listening: being consciously immersed in what you’re listening to, and trying your best to understand it. 

Most of the time, you should focus on passive listening. But once or twice a week, sit down for an active listening session and see how much it boosts your comprehension and retention!

Of course, if you’re just starting out, you’re not going to understand anything. So how do you start understanding things as a complete beginner? Learn the most common words first. You can look up lists of them online, but a more natural way to do this is by studying the content you’re already listening to.

Pick a small piece of media, e.g. a chapter in a kid’s audiobook. After a few active listens, you should catch a recurring word or two. Translate those and give them a visual association in your head. Then, the next time you listen to it, pay close attention to see if those words pop up again. Every time you hear them, visualise their meaning.

By doing this, you’re not only learning new words but tuning your ear to these nuances in the language and training you to identify patterns in it. This will come in super handy when you start inventing your own sentences.

Just to be clear, it’s completely fine–essential even–to use a translator to learn new words and phrases as a beginner. The important part is how you retain them afterwards. 

Instead of associating a word with its translation, associate it with an image or gesture. This can be tricky with words like “the” and “is”. For those, just try to see them within the context of a full sentence rather than on their own.

From there, just keep listening and filling in gaps in your knowledge. Make it your goal to understand something simple, like a short story or even a short sentence, and take little steps towards that everyday. As you expand your knowledge, increase the difficulty of the content so it’s just above your skill level. This way, you’re guaranteed to keep making progress.

Step 3. Speaking

You shouldn’t worry about speaking too early on – at least not until you’ve built solid foundations in the language, and that comes by listening. That’s not to say speaking will suddenly click for you after you’ve spent X amount of hours listening to the language… but the more time you spend listening, the less time it’ll take to learn how to speak.

That being said, it’s important to develop good pronunciation habits early on. The key to doing that is exaggeration.

Every language uses different sounds, and thus different muscles in the face. To unlock these sounds, it may help to get a video of someone speaking and imitating the way their mouth is moving. If you feel your face getting tired, you’re on the right track!

When it comes to actually communicating, learning things by heart is a very powerful method. In the last post, I encouraged you to say the French word “pomme” every time you see a 🍎. Well, we can take this a step further and learn a full sentence. Every time you brush your teeth, say “Je me brosse les dents”. This helps you internalise the sentence structure, making it more intuitive to use.

Remember that at the core of all this is communication. Don’t just memorise a sentence and repeat it over and over; wholeheartedly try to convey a message while you speak. This forms connections between the words and their essence, so that when you find yourself in a context where that sentence fits, it’ll pop into your head automatically due to that emotional/visual association.

So what about inventing your own sentences?

Inventing sentences is different from learning how to listen and read, in that it involves more trial and error, ironing out your mistakes, and reinforcing corrections. But if you’ve already familiarised yourself with the language, you’ll have an ear for what sounds right and what doesn’t, which speeds up the process tremendously. 

Remember that you can’t force language acquisition to happen; it’s a subliminal process, and we can only encourage it through continuous exposure and practice.

Closing Thoughts

This series was a real exercise in keeping things concise, because there’s just SO much I could say on this topic. I will highly consider writing more language-related posts in the future where I can dive into the details I left out in this rough guide!

I hope this was useful to you and thank you so much for reading.

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How to learn a language on your own (Part 1)

Welcome to Part 1 of a short and sweet 2 Part series where I discuss how to learn foreign languages. These are based on my own experiences with language learning and the advice from books, articles and videos that helped me.

This is intended for people like me whose goal is to learn languages to fluency. Meaning, to the point where producing the language is second nature to us and we can comfortably understand others.

If you just want to pocket a few phrases to get by in another country, or want to pass your Spanish classes at school (which are both fine motivations of course), the coming posts may not apply to you. But I’ll try to make it an interesting read nonetheless!

How do we learn languages?

Before we talk about anything else, we first have to understand how we actually acquire languages.

Kids (0-12) learn languages through input. Adults learn in pretty much the same way, with a few different hurdles because we’re more conscious during the process.

Input is the act of listening, reading, and otherwise absorbing a language. It’s the method I’m using to learn French, and one that so many non-native English speakers inadvertently used to learn English.

Reading grammatical explanations isn’t input. It’s study, a memorisation game — and while it can definitely help illuminate and strengthen our understanding of certain things, it alone isn’t the cause of fluency (complete comfort in a given language.)

Language is naturally, not forcefully, acquired through continuous exposure to it. Which means listening… listening a LOT.

80% Listening

Our minds have an amazing knack for pattern recognition. Let’s say you listened to one episode of a podcast 100 times in a given language. After as early as the 10th listen, you would begin to pick up on the most frequent words, the intonations of the speakers, and the sentence structure. Eventually, you would learn the entire transcript like lyrics to a song, even if you didn’t speak a word of the language beforehand.

Of course, we won’t learn a language JUST by listening blindly… on top of listening, we have to connect the words with meanings by either translating them into our native language, or, even better, giving them visual associations.

This is a French word next to an image. After looking at this, what do you think the French word for “apple” is?

Now, imagine this was a video and every time a native speaker said “pomme”, this image popped up. You would learn the meaning, the spelling, and the pronunciation of the word “apple” in French, and you would have never even needed to translate it into your native language.

The final step is learning to speak.

20% Speaking

Luckily, speaking the language will come to you a lot faster if you’ve already spent hours listening to it. All it takes now is practice!

It’s probably not a rare occurrence for you to see a 🍎. So every time you see a 🍎, say “pomme” out loud.

Soon enough, that word will automatically pop into your mind whenever there’s an appropriate time to use it. Just like words and phrases pop into your mind in your native language!

Note: This isn’t the full picture and challenges vary from language to language (and person to person). But I hope this gives you an idea of how language acquisition happens/starts to happen.

In part 2…

…I will give some more practical advice on how to learn a language based on what I’ve talked about in this post.

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How to introduce cats & all about our new kitten

Do you remember in my All about Astro post I recommended getting two Siamese cats instead of one?

Guess what!

Meet Cosmo, our four-month-old kitten! We got him for various reasons, but the biggest one was to give Astro a brother, and despite our fears from the beginning, today they are inseparable! In this post I’m going to cover the history of getting this adorable boy, how we successfully introduced him to Astro, and all about his personality. Strap in because this is going to be a long one.

How we got Cosmo

We had always talked about getting a new friend for Astro, but we were never convinced until January this year when we saw a posting for a litter of Siamese kittens. I wasn’t instantly sure, though. I thought the kittens were adorable like everyone else would, but it felt like just another opportunity that we probably wouldn’t take. It was only after running through the reasons that we realised the cirumstances and the timing were too perfect to ignore.

Now, when I tell you we would be going on a trip to New Zealand the following month, you might think that’s the opposite of perfect timing. But the boy we had our eye on wasn’t ready to leave his mom yet, so that 14 days or so away was the perfect amount of time for us and the kitten! Plus, the trip was exciting enough that it made the wait much less excruciating.

We were already going through lots of name ideas. It wasn’t like Astro, where his name suddenly came to us and immediately clicked. We had quite a few on our list that we were going back and forth on, but we ended up going with COSMO! And I can say it definitely suits him – the only problem is that Astro and Cosmo’s names might be too similar and go too well together that we often mix them up…

Many plane flights, mountains, kiwis, gondolas and luges later, we made it back home – and the next day we would pick up our kitten!

The unfortunate thing is that we got very sick by the end of the trip – headaches, severe fever, extreme fatigue. So after we brought him home, the first few days was just us crowded in one room with blankets and cat toys. When you’re sick, everything feels pretty hopeless, so I was put off from almost everything and wasn’t able to fully appreciate Cosmo’s cuteness.

Luckily, Cosmo is growing slowly and is still a tiny little kitten, so now that we’re well over our sickness, we’ve got a second chance to appreciate it. Astro, on the other hand, seemed to spend one week as a kitten and then blew up into his mature self.

How we introduced our cats

Cosmo was extremely shy at the beginning. Hiding in his igloo all day, running under the bed at the smallest sound, sometimes hissing at us. However, we realised quickly just how playful he was, so all we had to do was wag a toy around and we started building up his confidence. Now he’s so confident that he’s comfortable jumping on a cat who, to him, is about the same size a full grown lion would be to a lion cub.

Spoiler: Astro and Cosmo are best friends now, and were since the first time they laid eyes on each other.

We’re not really sure whether they were just destined for each other, or if it was thanks to the methods we used that they got so comfortable with each other so fast. Either way, I’m going to go over the steps we did to introduce them, just in case it would help somebody wanting to introduce two cats.

1. Give the new kitten/cat one room to start off with

In general, this is a good idea. Your kitten will likely be scared of the new place and a large area will overwhelm them even more. Introduction-wise, this is also important so the older cat doesn’t feel like their whole territory is being invaded right away.

2. No eye contact

One thing to know about cats is that they are all about scents. Do not let them see each other. Just allow the cats to sniff each other under the door. You’ll know they’re ready for the next step if they are comfortable going close to each other’s doors. For us, Astro and Cosmo were even sticking their paws under and playfully batting each other.

Astro looking at Cosmo’s paw under the door.

3. Create positive associations

This can be done even if there’s still a door between them. Whenever the cats see or smell each other, give them treats and affection so that they associate each other with positive things.

4. Gradual visual contact

Once you think they’re used to each other’s scents, it may be time to open the door, but only a crack – maybe to the point that they can’t even really see each other. This is just to test how they react when they realise they may finally meet with the cat behind the door.

Watch your cats’ body language: when you open the door, are they excited, scared, threatened, calm, playful, curious? Are they puffing up, hissing? This will tell you how much to open it, and for how long, and whether they really are ready for this step. The first time we cracked the door open, Astro and Cosmo were looking at each other like, “What’s the big deal? I already know this guy. Why are you hiding him from me?” So we were comfortable opening the door even more to the point they could get right up close.

WARNING: While we did this, we had two people on either side of the door holding both cats back. If this isn’t an option for you, just make sure the cats cannot touch or swat each other. It’s normal for them to hiss, but if they start fighting or getting angry, take them away and try again later when they’ve calmed down.

A real image of their first face-to-face!

4. Free roaming (with supervision)

After testing their reactions with the last step, you should know when your cats are ready to “free roam” with each other (as always, every interaction must be supervised).

What we did when our cats were ready was open the door to the kitten’s room. Being there for only a few days, the kitten didn’t strictly consider it his territory, and the older cat was ok going in there since it is part of his house. We weren’t ready to give Cosmo the whole house yet, so we let Astro explore his room, sniffing everything he’s scented.

Astro and Cosmo free-roam together for the first time.

It’s normal for things to be a bit different from when they were looking at each other through the door. For us, Astro was relatively relaxed when we first let him into Cosmo’s room, while Cosmo was actually a little overexcited. Once he got too close, Astro hissed. That is the one and only time he has ever done that to Cosmo, and understandably so. The rest of the interaction proceeded as normal. No fights, no swatting, no puffing. Just the cats setting their boundaries and sussing each other out.

But it may take multiple sessions for them to get used to each other’s presence.

5. Let the new cat explore the whole house, go back steps if you need to, and hopefully…

Happy as can be!

All about Cosmo

Astro came from a household where other Siamese cats like him were piled up to the roof. It was like heaven for such a social cat breed, so you can imagine his disappointment when he came to a home with no other Siamese. The only other cat he knew was Ruby, an amazing Burmese-Bombay lady who almost lived up to 20 years old! Unfortunately, such an old cat wasn’t a great match for an energetic Siamese kitten.

Astro doing his best to get close to Ruby.

He spent around two years with her before she passed away and was left with no one else… but another year and a half later, he saw his own kind for the first time since he was a kitten – his new brother Cosmo!

Born in December 2024, Cosmo is a four-month old kitten. Unlike his brother who is half seal-point, half chocolate point, Cosmo is fully seal-point and is thus already on his way to surpassing Astro’s darkness.

The first time we held Cosmo, I cannot stress just how small he was. He was literally a mouse, being tiny, timid, with these giant eyes and ears. However, he has definitely grown since we first got him, and is already catching up to Astro in size, colour and especially confidence! In fact, sometimes I mistake one for the other at a glance.

Cosmo is a very smart boy. While Astro did occasionally play fetch when he was a kitten (and rarely does today), Cosmo will consistently fetch his ball any time you throw it! He makes a few different sounds to Astro – the most famous one is the growl. He used to make this sound when you got too close to his ball, but now he makes it anytime during crazy hour.

Cosmo hugging his favourite ball.

A cute downside is that Cosmo is… pretty destructive. He’s slowly getting over it but he will take the opportunity to tear up tissues, bite the sides of my iPad cover, pull on my pants strings, etc.

He’s not afraid to literally jump onto Astro and start a wrestle fight either, biting each others’ necks, chasing each other. This doesn’t happen much anymore but it can be shocking when you’re not used to it. Just know that if no one walks away with any wounds, they’re likely being more gentle than they seem. It’s just how cats play. You should still trust your instinct though and you definitely don’t have to encourage this behaviour!

The good news is that they snuggle a lot more than they fight. Astro is still a playful, loving boy, and I think it’s safe to say that Cosmo has improved his life in almost every aspect. And I’m glad we were able to give Cosmo a home with another Siamese right from the beginning!

That’s about it from me. I hope you were able to learn something from this post or were at least entertained by the adorable Astro, Cosmo, and a special appearance from Ruby. See you in the next one!

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